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Hulett the Dogs Out? On January 4, 34-year-old Mark Hulett of Williston, Vermont, having been found guilty of raping a young girl hundreds of times, stood before Judge Edward Cashman for sentencing. The victim was seven when Hulett began his atrocity and ten when he finished. The sentence? Sixty days in jail. And we thought Lizzie Grubman got off easy. This sends a clear message to the pedophiles of the Green Mountain State—keep it up. At about 75 minutes per incident, this may be a first. Until now, sentences were substantially longer than the time it took to commit the crime. Counting time already served and running the sentences concurrently, we may actually owe Hulett a week or two. Are you feeling me, ACLU? But what should really concern us as a society is whether Hulett is entitled to conjugal visits. Anything less would be cruel and unusual. Thankfully, Hulett will be a free man before his Levitra prescription runs out. Now it’s time to find the real child rapist. Our prisons are bursting at the seams with dope addicts, tax cheats, and shoplifters serving hard time. Judith Miller did more time for protecting her source. As a high school student, Marcus Dixon served over a year for sleeping with a girl two years his junior. His mistake? He was black and she was white. There is a three-strikes rule for pot smokers but no 2,187-strikes rule for child rapists, so long as they were sober at the time. Who’s writing our sentencing guidelines, Sacco and Vanzetti? The morally bankrupt Cashman says he doesn’t believe in punishment. Yes he does. He believes in punishment for the victim, the victim’s family, the next victim, her family, and all the victims and families to follow. What he doesn’t believe in is punishment for the criminal. When a judge drops punishing the criminal from his repertoire, it’s like a control pitcher dropping the change-up. There’s not much left. This dude gives spineless, gutless, bleeding-heart liberal activist reformist judges a bad name. Cashman, however, says he does believe in treatment. So do I. Treatment should begin with castration—first the chemical kind, then the non-chemical. Further treatment should include decapitation. Drawing and quartering can be performed as an outpatient procedure during a follow-up visit. Medicaid should cover the cyanide script. Then and only then, after a full and thorough course of treatment, should punishment commence. After further review, however, I can see my way clear to 60 days in the hole for Hulett. As long as it’s 60 days in the general population, where he’ll get the respect he deserves. Try Allenwood Federal Penitentiary in Pennsylvania. I know some goodfellas over there who would love to have a little talk with this stunad. By minute 60, he’ll wish he was Jeffrey Dahmer. Then it’s off to solitary confinement in a Hefty bag. Not that I’m against rehabilitation. Sixty days should be plenty. Week one is a review of the case file. Week two, dream analysis. Week three, word association. Week four, Rorschach testing. Week five, Gestalt therapy. Week six, Adlerian psychotherapy. Week seven, cognitive therapy. Week eight, electrocution. Is there anyone out there who can justify Judge Edward Cashman’s interpretation of the law? Even Sam Alito might weigh in on this one. Get Osama bin Laden on the cell. We may be able to glean a thing or two from the Koran. Megan’s Law is not enough. We need Rich’s Law—15 minutes alone in a room with the assailant for any willing and armed family member. Moreover, there needs to be a National Alert Registry for criminally insane judges. Go online and locate the ones your area. Our way of life is coming to an end. That is certain. Whether that will be a good thing or a bad thing has yet to be determined. But a society with a legal system that treats the most heinous of all crimes, against perhaps the most defenseless of all victims, repeated indefinitely, with no doubt of guilt and no remorse whatsoever as it might a parking scofflaw, is simply not sustainable. Wait. Overturn that. On second thought, while we can still get something for it, let’s export our system of justice to Afghanistan, Iraq, and North Korea. Click here to rant back. |